


give me a closure (or at least a phone call.)

by hyuckduck



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: I wrote this a long time ago, M/M, author!minghao, hahahaha guess what, jisoo is mentioned as hansol's disapproving caretaker, might expand this au if i have time, so here i am, this ship has no angst, very short, who reads the book, who writes a book about his ex hansol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 03:53:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13068567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuckduck/pseuds/hyuckduck
Summary: for my sunshine, without whom i have yet to learn to be without.





	give me a closure (or at least a phone call.)

Hansol doesn’t sleep the night after he finishes reading Minghao’s book.

Instead, he opens the windows in his room, draws the curtains back to let all the fresh air in, shuts all the lights off and smokes in bed even though he knows it will disappoint Josh if he ever hears that Hansol’s back to his bad habits again. He doesn’t touch the book again. It lays limp, next to his extended arm, but it still feels like Hansol is holding it above his head and skimming past the words. Minutely, Hansol sees the letters dancing when he closes his eyes and he opens them again even though he wishes he could go back and read the book all over again. Feel the words and the sentences as they sunk into his mind and threaded themselves into him.

 _If there is one thing that keeps me alive after all this,_ one of the passages read, and Hansol remembers this one clearly because it’s what Minghao had told him when they were together, the wind in his hair and his heart at his fingertips, _it’s knowing that you’re my destiny._

The book is a gift, from Minghao. He’d gotten it in the mail, with a note stuck inside, (empty, no words or greetings or an explanation) and Hansol had figured that he wanted to talk but didn’t know what to say. Hansol can’t blame him. There’s too much they’ve run away from. If he’s being honest, he doesn’t know what to say either. He hadn’t called. It’s not like Minghao ever answers when he calls, or that he says anything when he answers the line. He decided he’ll read the book and forget about it. He’ll forget about him, just the way they’d planned to.

But naively, Hansol doesn’t forget. The words stick to him like glue or honey, claw their way down his skin and settle on him like parasites. It doesn’t become just a book after a while. Hansol recognizes it as everything Minghao wanted to say to him that he never did. ( _I wish I didn’t see you every other street._ ) It’s like a slap to the face, but it forces him to remember everything. To relive everything, from the day he met Minghao, on the streets of China like he’s trying to drown in noise and smoke, to the day they decided that they didn’t want to see each other anymore. Hansol decided that they didn’t have to see each other anymore, because fear grips Hansol whenever he thinks of how hard he’s fallen and he’s terrified of what will happen if he lets himself fall harder, and not seeing a choice, Minghao had agreed. Hansol doesn’t forget anything. He relives.

The dedication reads:

_For my sunshine, whom I have yet to learn to be without._

Hansol falls asleep on the third cigarette and never notices that it’s pressing to the skin of his wrist.


End file.
